oops poops

I get embarrassed fairly easily.
especially around people I don't know- strangers. Like, in stores or walking down the street...if I trip or slip or something, it is pretty much the end of the world for me.
I turn bright red.
I get hot.
I feel as though life is over.
and I'm not the most graceful person, but I try really hard to be.
that time I got hit by a bike when I was running and fell so hard, skinning my knees and arms- I was more aware of how stupid I likely looked rather than how badly it hurt and how pissed I should have been at the 12 year old biker boy.

so, have I told you about the egg story?
it was over a year ago, in the grocery store.
I was tired from a long run I had just done, not paying attention to much, but had to go the store to grab several needed items at home.
I ran around the store, basket on my arm, filling it with various grocery items- and headed over to the egg area (?) where I searched carefully through cartons of eggs, making sure none were cracked.
I found a good carton. I went to place the carton in the basket on my arm.
and clearly my hand-eye coordination was off, or my depth perception, or I was just having a severe stupid moment...
but needless to say, the eggs did not end up in my basket.
instead, I very carefully placed the carton of eggs in the empty air space directly next to my basket.
and because of gravity, and the fact that eggs don't float,
they fell.
on the floor.
btdubs, in case you didn't know, large quantities of eggs (when dropped) explode.

that would have been terrible enough on its own- people seeing me drop eggs like that-
however, I made it worse.
because you know what I did?
I didn't utter the normal 'oh shit"
or drop an f-bomb.
or d-bomb.

haha d-bomb.
(that is damn, by the way).

but instead said very very loudly, "OOOOOOOH....chicken."

i know.
actually, I don't know.
Why did I say that?
Was my subconscious blaming the chicken who laid those eggs?
or just damning the entire chicken civilization?
either way, the people who weren't staring at me after I dropped the eggs, now were.
and trying not to laugh.

so I did what any normal person would do.
I put my basket of groceries on the ground.
I alerted the store of the mess.
and then me and my bright red face and egg splattered legs retreated from the grocery store as fast as we could.

the end.

i don't buy eggs by myself anymore.


Etsy Monday time

I know I am late to the party on this whole monogram trend thing, but I wasn't into it at first.
Not even a little.
but now? 
There are a few things I like.
and want.
and i discovered that when done simply and without flash, monogram can actually be pretty stylish!

would you believe that etsy is just chock full of monogram treasures?
I know, shocking.

tiny delicate gold rings


scrabble pillows

tiny locket

wine stopper

initial planter


Have I yet mentioned?

well first off, happy Friday.

Second, I'm planning a wedding.
I know I don't mention it often here- for awhile I felt sort of overwhelmed and lots of other blogs I read have either had a) expensive weddings b) wedding planners c) no worries whatsoever when it comes to their wedding planning and $ that goes with it.
and that made me feel....very protective of my wedding.
because, know this: Jeff and I are paying for most of the weddding ourselves. it isn't going to be some huge fancy shindig.
what it will be is FUN and full of love and laughs.
I just hate the thought of people judging our day. know what I mean?

but I want to share a little bit- not to the point where you guys are like "omg Nicole- get over yourself and your wedding...boooring", but just enough that you get the feel for what it will be like AND give me your opinions on things that I can't decide.

make sense?

One major issue that has been happening the past several weeks the date and location of our wedding- you see, we have a date, September 21st 2013 (one year from TODAY) and a location, Camp Mataponi on Sebego Lake (google Camp Mataponi weddings and you'll see why we fell in love with it..) and all was (is) well and good. The camp is amazing because not only is it quaint and lovely with a gorgeous building for our reception- but there are cabins on the property for guests to stay in- each with bathrooms and electricity! It is a one stop party shop!

BUT THEN my mother.
she pointed out that the cabins don't have heat.
and my wedding is September 21st.
in Maine.

so I freaked out- because sometimes in Maine September is lovely and in the 70's. and sometimes it can get cold. Like this week for example, some nights have been down in the low 40's.
and I cried.
and felt like we made a HUGE mistake going with our hearts on this place.
but then my wonderful fiance, who seriously can calm me down in any crisis just by looking at me and laughing (the only one who can get away with this technique I might add), sat me down and explained that our friends and family who grace us at this wedding won't freeze to death. That they will be smart enough to bring warm clothes and sleeping bags. That we can't control the weather and maybe it will be warm next year. That even if it IS cold, it will be fine. That I shouldn't give up my wish to have a fall wedding simply because it 'might be' cold.

He even suggested we give out electric blankets as a wedding favor.
well, actually he said: "what if we get an electric blanket for each cabin. Then that night we can have a jousting tournament for each cabin and whoever wins gets the blanket! BOOM! problem solved!"

that, ladies and gents is why I love him.

SO- we are sticking with our hearts- and the wedding WILL be on September 21st, 2013 at Camp Mataponi on Sebego Lake.

stay tuned, I'll be sharing rando details about our day over the next year. tell me if I get annoying!

our color scheme!


I thought I would share with you

that right now, right this VERY minute- i am eating peanut butter out of the jar with a plastic knife.
at work.
at my desk.
with the space heater blasting on me.

I understand if you now want to unfollow my blog.


a post for which I have no title

Notice anything new? Like my blog design mayhaps?
Alivia did it.
I love it.
I love the weird cat banner.
i LOVE weird.

I cannot for the life of me believe that September is almost over.
and I'm scared out of my gourd that the half marathon is in 2 weeks. I may die.
I know I did it last year, but I was also unemployed and so training was easier.
ANNNNNND I wasn't plagued by weirdo injuries.
So far this year, I have had a pulled ham string, some weird foot thing and knee issues.
I'm not going for any records this year- just want to cross the finish line.
I did 9 miles on Sunday- not my longest run this fall, but took a ton out of me. I was gassed.
I ate 3 donuts immediately after and slept for 3 hours.

There are some things I need-
book suggestions
new music suggestions
nail polish color ideas
a vespa

so anything you guys can help with would be great.


*this post may or may not have been written while under the influence of sudafed/dayquil. 


Happy Fri

Happy Friday everyone!
Go forth and do exciting things this weekend.

but first, go check out my guest post on my twin's blog- B in the Bay.

that lucky girl is on vaca in Hawaii. so jelly.




I don't usually talk about 9/11.
I am not one of those people who puts a Patriotic photo on facebook.
Or tweets about remembering.
Not because I don't care- I do- I just don't use social media to reflect on tragic events.
there is nothing wrong with doing this.
i just don't.

but maybe here.

I was a sophomore in college.
I just just declared Politics as my major.
I was in class, which was being held in the brand new New Hampshire Institute of Politics center on campus.
when the first plane hit, we moved from our classroom to the small cafe- there were tvs on the walls.
we were watching the news when the second plane hit.
I remember thinking that it wasn't a second plane we were seeing, but just a replay of the first.
it wasn't.
New York felt a million miles away.
I didn't know anyone there.
or in D.C.
we watched, frozen.
and people cried.
but i just remember feeling so. far. away.
like i couldn't relate to those tiny people on the tv screen who were covered in ash, crying and walking around dazed.
and then all classes were cancelled.
and we all trickled back to our rooms- and my parents called.
and everyone was stunned into silence.
that was the quietest day on campus.
and the girls in my dorm all meet in the lounge to talk about how we "felt".
and I still couldn't relate.
i felt terrible for those who were in the midst of the tragedy,
but felt like I didn't deserve to be sad. I didn't know anyone in the buildings. or on the planes. or on the ground.
so why should I allow myself to feel sad?
I tend to make myself feel guilty about my emotions.
like when my cousin died my senior year of high school, i felt like i had no right to be sad, since his parents and siblings were definitely more sad than I. My grief paled in comparison to theirs so i should keep mine to myself.
now I know that isn't how sadness and grief work.
now I know that being sad when those planes hit would have been ok for me to show my emotions.

so today, 11 years later, I will tell you- i feel such sadness for what happened that day.
and hope that the years have offered healing and peace to those who experienced loss.

all the words I have on 9/11/01.


Hi Monday

Hi Monday.
Hi friends.
I think maybe I'll be more regular, now that the crispness in the air has me diving under blankets and burrowing on the couch with tea.
no, not that kind of regular!!!
regular at blogging.
duh, sickos.

This morning it definitely felt like fall- and this morning I was HAPPY about it. I think I finally let go of my summer-is-over-blues. Sunday was spent running 11.5 miles (1/2 marathon is only a few weeks away) and then lazily watching football* on the couch with magazines and books. Sundays are my favorite days in the fall.

and in honor of fall, here are my loves on etsy- please feel free to purchase any of the below and send them my way. j/k (kinda..).

Chunky scarf with leather belt buckle detail

slouchy hat (ignore creepy manikin)

long mittens!

wrapped fox t-shirt. I need this. a lot.

fabulous lightweight cozy jacket

*by watching I mean napping.


letting go

a few days ago, as the calendar flipped from August to September, the air got that distinctive crispness that one associates with fall. no longer full of humidity, the breeze now carries the subtle scent of dried leaves, warm sweaters, old denim and cold.

i love fall. It is my favorite season- always has been.
but, for some reason, this year I am having a hard time letting go of summer.
the older I get, the more my distaste for winter grows.
the more I loath the sunless days, bitter nights and messy gross melting that follows in March.

and so, even though I know that September and October will be wonderful- I know that right behind them lurk the dreariest of days.
I don't want to let go of days on the boat, the smell of sunscreen and sand.
i can't imagine days without sunwarmed skin and strawberry stained lips.
the way a bottle of beer looks when it is 90 degrees outside, icy cold and perspiring.
I don't want to miss the farmer's market, or
saltwater dried in weird patterns on my legs
 or the rush that comes when you jump off the dock and your hot skin hits the cool water.
or the way the grass smells after it has been freshly cut.

i just can't let go.