4.24.2012

You may say that I'm a dreamer

anyone who really really knows me, knows that for my entire life I have always had very vivid intense dreams. I'm sure Emily can't even count how many times I came downstairs in the morning with "you will NEVER believe the dream I had last night..."

My dreams are like movies- usually with a beginning, middle and end. They feel like they last forever. They are creative and crazy and weird and wonderful and sometimes scary-- but not usually scary. I've been able to fly so many times I've lost count. Often they are so real that after a few days, I can't remember if something really happened or only happened in a dream. I've actually been pissed off at people for something they did in a dream (much to their annoyance). I've been tempted to keep a dream journal-- but I'm scared to do that. In most of my dreams I exhibit some level of control- where eventually I figure out that I'm dreaming- or, say that in the dream I'm in some embarrassing situation, I know that it is just a dream and I can get myself out of it. 

When I was really little, I used to have a recurring dream that I was in the back seat of my parent's car and they left me in the car with it running while they ran into the gas station real quick. As soon as they stepped inside the gas station, the car would start to move and drive off with me in it- and with no one driving. Little 5 year old me would be terrified because I had no idea where the car was taking me or how to drive. I had this dream so often that whenever my parents really would pull into a gas station (in real life), I'd FREAK out and demand I get out of the car too (not like they'd ever really leave me in the car- but whatever, I was 5!!). 

I don't mind having vivid dreams or really intense dreams- but what I do mind is that sometime even after I wake up, I can't shake the emotions that I had in the dream. For example (and yes you may laugh), the other night I had a dream that a certain musician and I were in a complex relationship. We were in love, he was an amazing kisser, girls were way jealous of me, etc etc. I'm not going to go into super detail- but when I finally woke up from the wonderful dream, I felt weird. 

I'm going to have a difficult time explaining how I felt when I woke up so bear with me. I felt almost sad/lonely and a bit heartbroken that all those feelings I had during the dream weren't real. and then I felt guilty for dreaming that I was lusting after someone else while Jeff was sleeping next to me. And then i felt silly because it was JUST a dream! but all that day, I had the most difficult time shaking those emotions from the dream (dream hangover?) and even couldn't listen to said musician's music because it made me feel all odd and uncomfortable.

Yep, I know I'm a huge freak- but what the hell! It isn't just this sexy musician dream- but why do these emotions linger and last SO long after I've woken up? Does this happen to anyone else? It is so annoying that I can't shake emotions that aren't even a result of real events. If this happens to you too, what do you do to shake the feelings? And, am I a bonafide nutter?

ps: I had every intention of writing this as a humorous post and clearly failed- oops poops!

4 comments:

B said...

OMG we are seriously the same person. it is frighteningly awesome. Russ can email you and tell you that this post describes me almost exactly.

I had a dream I left Russ for Justin Timberlake (i was a teenie bopper at 13 and obsessed with him). After we hooked up he dumped me and admitted he was just using me. I woke up really upset and also felt super guilty- exactly what you said. AND ive loved JT since i was 13 and ever since he doens't do it for me as much. My dreams def blend into my real life and there are many "memories" I have that Im not sure if they are true or not. so crazy!

Emily said...

No, you are not crazy. But I will say that if I were ever to have doubts about that, it would be the time you dreamed your wallpaper was talking to you. Just sayin'. xo

Miss Patricia. said...

Whoa. I used to have the same dream as a kid about the car leaving; except it was that I'd "knocked the car out of gear" which is what my parents scared me into believing would happen if I breathed on the gear shift the wrong way.

I used to speed at insane levels down hills with no way to stop. It was horrifying and I had that dream all night, every night, until my little sister was born. They stopped after that. Weird.

Anyway, my husband seems to have the same really intense/complex dreams as you. Sometimes he dreams about having relationships or sex with other people too---sometimes even guys!!! We're both totally okay with this though, even though I think he feels embarrassed about it. I just find it really interesting, lol.

Mel said...

You are not crazy. I have such vivid dreams, that I too wake up and feel weird. I have about 5 reoccurring dreams that I've had since I was really little. I also have crazy dreams like I'm on acid or something. I, too have the very real feeling relationship dreams and also wake up confused with the emotions. Sometimes I really hate it all, but sometimes I like it. It does suck when I start telling a story and then I'm like... oh wait, that didn't actually happened.. I dreamt it...