call for help

hi my friends
I have done something. 
Something silly!

Something that I am totally embarrassed about.

so- Jeff and I have entered a contest to win a wedding. This one.

The winner gets a wedding and tons of other cool stuff- but the best part is that the wedding takes place in Portland- which is where we met, had our first date, got engaged, live together...you get the drift! So anyway, we had to enter a video submission, which is here, and tell people in 2 minutes why we want to get married in Portland and about 'us'.  People have a chance to enter the contest up until March 9th and then the judges will pick 3 finalists- BUT the judges are going to take viewer votes into consideration. And then once there are 3 finalists, voting will start up again and the winner will be announced early April. 

So, I was just wondering...will you help me? Will you go to this video every day and vote? (You vote just by giving the video 5 star rating.) Will you send that link to friends and tell them to vote? Will you create some sort of magic wand that will help us win? Er...or something.

If you've been following me for awhile then you know about my relationship with Jeff and I hope you think we are deserving of this! For a contest that is Portland specific- I think we are a pretty great couple to win. During the past 5 years of our relationship, all of our major milestones have happened here in this city. 

The past year, with me being unemployed- it has been so hard for me, for us. But Jeff has supported me and stood by me- encouraged me. He is my best friend, the love of my life, my better half. He has such a big wonderful heart that matches his big wonderful smile and laugh (and as you'll see in the video, he is quite the looker!!).  Financially, I'm just getting on my feet- and a wedding was the farthest thing from our minds- until this contest. 

I'm crossing my fingers.

ps: my friend Adam made the video for us- he is super super talented! 
pps: I look like a big freak in this video. Please note that I do not normally look as freakish as the video portrays me. 


that one time I almost mashed Jeff's hand in the garbage disposal.

so this weekend- a good friend of ours helped Jeff and I make a video to enter in a contest (more in that in a few days). Anyway in the video we had to talk a lot about our relationship and tell stories about us over the years. it reminded me of the first REAL serious shocking moment Jeff and I had together.

Okay so spring of 08- Jeff had just bought the house and we moved in together. Our move in coincided with: the week after final exams 2nd year of law school, a heat wave and lots and lots of stress (mostly on my end). 

I was way over tired. and therefor, when Jeff was fishing around in the sink for something that was making the garbage disposal angry- i thought I would be helpful and turn the light on so he could see better. Except, instead of hitting the light switch, I turned the garbage disposal on. 


It OBVIOUSLY scared the shiz out of Jeff- no worries, he was fine...but in the process of being scared that I almost chopped his fingers off, he yelled. loudly. at me. 

and me in my fragile stressed over tired state- who was also scared by what I had just done- immediately started crying, envisioned the the end of our relationship, and locked myself in the bathroom. 

Many tears and hours later after Jeff coaxed me out of the bathroom and convinced me everything was okay, all was right in the world again.

3 years later he still has all his fingers and that remains the ONLY time he has ever raised his voice at me. and lets get serious, he was perfectly justified in doing so.  Oh yeah, I labeled the garbage disposal switch so this sort of thing wouldn't happen again.


there is an i in Life.

it is easy to forget sometimes, what is important in life. 
with work, bills, heartbreak, frustrations and distractions- sometimes it is easy to overlook the BEST parts.
You only live once, right?
so this is a reminder to me (and maybe you) to take a moment every single day and recognize the things in my life that are amazing.
or to really really enjoy that chocolate chip cookie.
or hold a new born baby.
get outside to breath in fresh air, dig my toes in the sand, walk my dog...

you get what I'm saying, right? It is easy to get swept away in the day to day- but take what you've got and do something with it.

I'm sure as hell going to.


a bumpy road

So. I made a tough decision. I decided not to take the bar exam next week. I made this decision carefully and thought it through. I have had conversations with friends. Talked it out with Jeff. Have his support. He understands.
But explaining it to my family?
That is a whole other story. 
and, it hurts that my explanations aren't being heard.
or that this choice, which is mine, is thought to be not really mine. 
My grandmother graciously paid for me to take it this time- which is so kind, but made my family think that I had to take the exam for her. For them.
but I can't do something just because other people want me to -more than I want to.
I just can't. I want to do this for me.
and me, well me doesn't want this right now.
but I feel icky, because disappointing my parents- no matter whether I'm right and they are wrong- makes me feel sick. 

I feel blue.


etsy monday

Hi friends
My blogging has been sparse, I know. I'm getting settled with the new job- and sort of figuring out a big decision...which I pretty much made, just now need to execute!

I hope everyone had an amazing weekend. Jeff's brother was in town, which was fun. We went indoor go-karting (where I got lapped by the boys about 5 times...) and then per Steve's request, went to Texas Road House. It was there I was fed 2 margaritas. Then I turned silly. And then, when the boys wanted to go to some video game store, they dropped me off at Target- by myself- where I acted real sober. Right, Em and Liv?

Moving on from that classy moment a la moi, my latest obsession has been super bright colors. Not quite neon, but close. 

pair this with a navy blazer, skinny jeans and flats- oh yeah.

simple + colorful

a neon take on the popular rope bracelets
stag head pin
tissue garland to brighten up the office


February 15th

So the day after Valentine's is dangerous for a person with a sweet tooth like mine. All Valentine's candy is 75% off...I have to stay away from stores until it is all gone. No joke. Did y'all have a sweet day yesterday? Jeff and I made homemade Italian Wedding Soup (and of course the entire time we were making it, I kept making cracks about our Italian Wedding...turns out I wasn't that funny), goat cheese and pesto grilled cheese, and delicious chocolate cupcakes with red butter-cream frosting. YUM. Nothing beats cupcakes from scratch. And yeah, I love that my day had some romance (Jeff writes the sweetest cards) and cooking together is so fun....but the highlight of my day was the slue of ridiculous poems that Elizabeth and I were texting back and forth to one another.

These "poems" had me laughing so hard that Jeff questioned my sanity. They probably won't be as funny to you guys (because you probably aren't half as weird or gross as we are...) but I thought I'd share.  Even if you laugh a little bit, it is worth sharing for that very reason! However, I'm only sharing the pg ones*...


roses are red, violets are blue
this rhyme was written especially for you
you are a treat
your lips are sweet
I want to touch them
with the tips of my feet

roses are red, 
violets aren't brown
won't you join me
for a romp in Perv Town
- me

roses are red
curtains are lace
it's really hard to tell
your ass from your face

roses are red
violets are best
i can't tell your back
from the front of your chest

roses are dead
violets are too
welcome to hell, 
it's nice to meet you!

roses are red
violets are blue
if I were a lesbo
i'd want to f you


*all poems belong to me and Elizabeth. you know, don't try to sell these gems as your own. I know it is tempting...


Lovey Etsy Monday

Happy Monday my friends, hope you all had a wonderful weekend. It was freezing cold here- so I spent most of the weekend under blankets. Although Saturday I celebrated Jeff's 28th birthday- I got him an espresso maker (ever since he came back from Australia this is all he drinks), and we went to a wonderful dinner out, ending the night with champagne and cupcakes. Mmm cupcakes. I went to East End Cupcakes instead of making them myself- not out of laziness but because i'm making cupcakes from scratch tomorrow- and besides, EEcupcakes makes you a better, happier person. I certainly wasn't sad when I bit into my funfetti cupcake with butter cream frosting....

So, tomorrow is Valentine's Day- and say what you will about the day, but I love it. What isn't to love about a day that celebrates love? And yeah yeah yeah, I know love should be celebrated everyday- which is true, but tomorrow you can celebrate it extra hard! When I was little, every Valentine's Day my mother would leave us each a little box of chocolates outside our bedroom door to wake up to. So for me, Valentine's Day isn't about being in a relationship but just about celebrating all the types of love in your life. ROCK it.

Of course, today's Etsy Monday is Valentine's inspired. So go out there and spread some love! Just...be safe about it?!

heart + key brass ring
these are amazing!
nesting heart bowls
bahaha this is amazing- a "smitten"

personalized embroidered necklace- so cute!
mint green heart studs


Great post on Chris Brown and DV.

I just stumbled across this amazing post about Chris Brown performing at the Grammy's tonight (via a tweet from a fave blogger) and had to share it. I have had experiences with some levels of domestic violence, both professional and personal, and am pretty floored how people just brush this matter off. I'm not even going to try and put into words my thoughts on this matter- when the above linked post does it much better than I ever could. 

I want more than this from society.

People that run the Grammys...what the HELL were you thinking?


I feel old when..

* ...I am up until 2:30am on a work night and have zero rally ability in me the following day.
* ...kids I used to babysit are either a) in college or b) drinking age.
* ...i realize my 30th birthday is right around the corner.
* ...2 beers does me in.
* ...all my friends are having babies. plural.
* ... i refer to tv shows like fraggle rock or punky brewster and the kids I babysit have no idea what I am talking about.
* ...i find my very first cell phone and realize it isn't that far off from what Zack Morris used to carry around.
* ...i find scrunchies in a box of old things.
* ...waitresses call me "ma'am".
* ...I make an "urrhhhh" noise when getting up from sitting on the floor.
* ... 11pm seems really late to me.
* ...i can't sleep in past 7am.
* ...I read labels on the food I buy.


Monday. Etsy. Go.

Happy Monday, suckahs! I don't know why I felt the need to call you that, I'm sorry. 
Maybe cause I'm tired. Last night was the super bowl and the Patriots were in it, which meant I was way excited then normal (except I really wasn't...I'm just not that into football). Really, I was excited about the food- then I went into a food coma and just wanted to sleep. Meanwhile, everyone that I was watching the game with was in hysterics that the Pats lost. Oops. 
Then today was my first day of work at the new job.
Then we found out that Jeff's dad is flying out to Vegas next week to film a spot on Pawn stars.
Then I ate a delicious cheeseburger.

Have I lost you yet? How about I just shut up and show you what I want on Etsy and we'll just pretend that the rest of this blog post never happened.

New art for our living room- love this!
initial mugs
dresses with pockets are my favorite.
ok, corny I know. But I love this.
chunky tribal bangles



The other day- I believe it was Tuesday, I was super sad for what I believed was no apparent reason. I just felt like I was on the brink of crying every two seconds. And I did cry, several times. Not pretty cry, but straight up hitching sobs, snot, messy cry.

Winter blues? I don't know what it was. I kept thinking about Jeff's mother. How much I miss her and how much I wish she was here to talk about the wedding and to celebrate with. Sometimes I miss her so much and then my heart just aches for Jeff because if I feel the way I do, I can't imagine how he feels. I wish his aunts (his mom's sisters) lived closer so we could spend more time with them because they remind me of Jane, have some of the same traits and laugh and jokes...

Last night we watched the movie 50/50. I don't know WHAT I was thinking when I suggested it. Yeah it has funny moments and shows the side of cancer that needs to be light and humorous- but it also showed the side that is heart wrenching, cold, lonely, mind-numbingly sad. We watched the movie holding hands. I cried a lot. He didn't, but I know what he was thinking of.

I don't know where I am going with this post except for that I need to write it out. Cancer is so mean. and when I think back to that summer and how terrible it was watching the train coming at us but not being able to jump out of the way, my stomach turns and those feelings come rushing back. Helplessness. Anger. Grief.

One thing that I appreciated the movie for was that it did have funny moments- and that is accurate. When someone horrible is happening, you need to be able to laugh. And that summer, with everything awful going on around us, I do remember the laughter- Jane cracking jokes and finding lightness in the despair.  We all needed it, but I think she needed it most. I'm just now realizing...if you are dying, wouldn't you rather have the people you love smiling and laughing with you rather than sobbing and mourning? 

So, this all being said and this all needing to get out of me- if you know someone who is sick, be it cancer or something else- make sure you help them smile. Don't stay in the darkness because there still IS life.


song lyrics

y'all know I am a music freak- groupie- whatever you want to call it. and when it comes to my big favorites, most of the time I know the lyrics by heart. And I'm a bit of a bee sting when people misunderstand songs-- you know, assume it is a pretty love song just because it 'sounds' sweet, but really it is a terribly awful sad song!! Small example, when I hear that people danced to Matt Nathanson's song "Wedding Dress" at their wedding, I'm floored. Look up the lyrics or just LISTEN to them, it certainly is not a love song.

Well oops. Looks like I made the same mistake recently. I've been trying to find some songs that sort of captures how I feel about Jeff (for our wedding). I want original and different. I don't want the same songs that are heard at every single wedding. That said, I've been trying to find songs to walk down the aisle to (whenever that may be...). So one song that I've loved for a long time, 'Flightless Bird' by Iron & Wine, was on my list. Until I looked up the lyrics. WTF?! Have you ever read these lyrics? 

"Now I’m a fat house cat
Nursing my sore, blunt tongue
Watching the warm poison rats
Crawl through the wide fence cracks
Pissing on magazine photos
Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean
Blood of Christ mountain stream"

Yeah, pretty song- haunting even, but so not ok to walk down the aisle to. Twilight, you got it wrong.
Have you ever done this with a song? And do you have any song suggestions for me?