This week has been so so so up & down. Up because my little brother is getting married tomorrow to a wonderful woman and I couldn't be happier or more excited for them. The weather is gorgeous and it is no doubt going to be an extreme celebration of love & life with tons of family and friends.
The downside is obviously J's mom dying. She has not passed away yet, but it will be any day now. I tried to describe the ache and sadness in an earlier blog, but it is so hard to get right. There is a constant ache, a fear, a hollow feeling in my throat that comes along with accepting the inevitable. To see the one I love going through this pain is like nothing I have ever seen before.
It is mind blowing to have both of these things happening at the same time. It is almost a complete circle of life...I told E, throw in someone having a baby and we've got it. I know, without a doubt though, that J's mom would want me to enjoy the wedding and to have fun and experience the JOY that comes with watching two people truly in love promising forever to one another.
Yesterday I was driving home from Freeport when I noticed a ladybug clinging to the windshield as I was cruising on 295. I was easily going 75mph and that little bugger was just holding on for the ride. Made me think...you just never know what life is going to throw at you, it is impossible & i don't believe in psychics. Yet, you just have go along for the ride and hold on for dear life. I'm sure that ladybug didn't think she'd (he?) end up speeding down the highway, but she held on. She didn't give up or let go. Hey thanks ladybug, I needed to see you doing this. Oh and I also saw a rainbow... I LOVE these unexpected gifts from nature that show me crystal clear how wonderful life is, even with the sad bits.
As for my good underwear discovery- I have a theory: If you are wearing a fabulous, sexy, great fitting pair of skivvies you will have a fantastic day. No doubt. Give it a try & let me know.