6.15.2009

attention span the size of a pea

It is 3pm. I've been out of bar class since 12:15 and really have get to get any work of substance done. I've managed to: organize all my stuff, set up my work space, eat lunch, empty the dishwasher, walk the dog, sweep the floor, fabreeze the damn couch because smelly boys were sitting on it all weekend, and put away the laundry....EVERYTHING but study.

And here I am, procrastinating one more. It isn't so much that I do not want to study (um...ok so it is) but, right now, I just feel so...gray. I know that is a color, not a feeling- but sitting inside with books & notes around me is just such a seemingly sad way to be. Saturday the weather was gorgeous and I went over to the East End with Emily to get some sunshine. For a little over 2 hours we laid in the sun, chatted about our typical nothing and everything (one of the many many things I love about our friendship) and read books. It is those moments I live for. Those moments to me are so much more meaningful than this studying crap. I know that studying is a means to an ends. I KNOW that I need to pass the bar exam to be able to help people the way I would like to...so why can't I just get it done? When I am doing something like....walking near the ocean, reading in the sun, out exploring cool neighborhoods or planning adventures I feel like I can actually breath. When I am sitting inside my otherwise incredible home surrounded by material that I need to cram into my skull...it is like I am only breathing 1/2 way.

I just heaved a big sigh. I suppose I should study. I AM generally happy so...I cannot complain too much. But, a little complaining never hurt anyone ;-)

Things I love this week:

the smell of clean sheets
Cali's new barking trick
whole foods cinnamon rolls
Jamicamecrazy Coffee from CBD
purple nail polish
strawberry bananna cream of wheat
warm rain
<3>

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